


First Time He Kissed a Boy

by ominous_softie



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Drug Use, Gay, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, How Do I Tag, M/M, Not Beta Read, Queer Themes, Sexuality, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 04:19:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19243702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ominous_softie/pseuds/ominous_softie
Summary: A brief exploration of Klaus' journey of sexuality through adolescenceTitle inspired by First Time He Kissed a Boy by Kadie Elder.





	First Time He Kissed a Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Exams are over so i'm back! 
> 
> HAPPY PRIDE MONTH Y'ALL 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this :) thanks for reading!
> 
> WARNING: contains homophobia, violence, and the brief usage of a homophobic slur but it is censored.

10

Klaus lay on his stomach, elbows out, arms proping his head up. Allison lay beside him, on her bed, and Klaus could feel the warm bare skin of her elbow pressed softly against his own. 

Allison casually flips the page of the magazine spread out in front of them.  
The cover isn't subtle, they both know this magazine is advertised for an audience of young girls, but they're young, they have free time for once on this warm afternoon and they're equally enticed by the appeal of the outside world, so they can't find the cause to care.

Klaus delicately traces the page with his fingers, brushing past the art pop style bubbles of text and landing on the photo of some celebrity heartthrob. Allison's hair swings and brushes against Klaus' shoulder and she leans in to look. 

"He's cute," she exclaims.

"Yeah," Klaus murmurs, "he is."

12

As Klaus made his way across the landing, he thought of the boy with warm brown eyes. He'd seen him on the last mission, a bystander drawn to the comotion of the raided jewellery shop. His eyes had resembled polished oak wood and his wavy hair of a similar shade contained lighter hightlights that shone in the sun. 

Klaus stops abrubtly in front of one of the house's many closed wooden doors. He looks left, right and behind himself before reaching out to gently turn the knob. He can't help the soft gasp that escapes him as the door swings open to reveal the display of all his mum, Grace, owns. He entered the small closet , where before him is hangers of dresses akd shelves of shoes that Klaus can't help but marvel at. 

Klaus has never been good at being quiet, but now his silence is a sacrifice he's willing to make as he runs his hand across all Grace's gorgeous dresses. 

He knows Reginald would go mental if he knew Klaus was in here. The cold man seldom expressed it, but his disaproval of those who stood out was unmissable to Klaus. He had become a master of picking up on his father's subtle sneer. Once traveling from interviews back home two men had been walking along the opposite pavement, holding hands, and Reginalds brief sneer wasnt exactly a response with endless varying possible interpretations. 

Klaus knew, even at 12 that he was different. At first, it's nothing but a tender curiosity about boys. They're beautiful and sweet, just like girls, and only when he got older did he realise he was an abnormality, then did he think back to him and Allison talking about boys but his brothers would leave them to it without understanding the appeal. And now, he knows the word 'gay', and can only assume thats what he is. Alas, with more disapproval than acceptance, hes learnt to keep hidden.

Klaus' eyes catch a bright red, he stops and bends down. He reaches out and to touch the ruby red heels, looking lile they've veen taken straight out of the wizard of oz. Klaus pictures his mother in his mind, whenever she wears them she looks regal, tall, powerful, feminine; Beautiful. He wants to be beautiful too.

Later, with Klaus in the medical room, jaw wired shut as a result of his fall, he scolds himself. He was an idiot. He should have been more careful. He shouldn't have left the closet. He shouldn't have tried on the heels.

Reginald's words still lingered on Klaus' mind. He messed up. Reginald had seen him there, a crumpled figure at the bottom of the stairs, one heel still on his foot. 

" i never want to see you in your mother or sisters' clothes again. It is not not appropriate. Do not forget that you are a boy. You are my greatest disappointment, number four" 

But the spite built up, and Klaus vowed to himself to challange Reginald as much as he can. He doesnt get to change who Klaus is.

14

The night was cold, but Klaus felt only warmth. He didn't mind his bare arms, and as he chuged down another glass of liquor he felt only bliss. For once, no ghosts. The very air around him pulsed with energy and the beat of the club's music. 

It has suprised Klaus, honestly, how easy it was the slip out his window and into the night. The streets of the city were still full of life, and Klaus felt a part of it, as though the city was one big entity made up from the life force of all it's inhabitants. 

Across the club, Klaus clocked a man, roughly 20, watching him with a keen eye. He was undeniably handsome, and Klaus had to admit he enjoyed being paid attention to for once. Without it being punishment at least. He danced his way over to the guy, who accepted his greeting, moving his warm, firm hands onto Klaus' narrow hips. Klaus loved the touch, the intimacy and care, the man's maculine features, from his sharp jawline and full biceps, filling Klaus with something he's never truely know up close: desire.

The guy reached into his own pocket and then time skipped a beat and before his eyes the guy held a small white disk between his fingertips. Klaus blinked, slowly, flatening and sticking out his tongue, head tilted back, the guy places the unidentified pill on the tip of his tongue. The man brought their bodies together further as they pressed against each other and he brought them together in a kiss, his tongue joining the pill on Klaus' tongue. 

16

It was the small hours of the night, and Klaus couldnt help but feel he was turning nocturnal. During the day, inside, Klaus felt suffocated, buried in school work and training, trapped in the big stuffy house. Reginald had begun to picl up on Klaus' activities, his gender expression and sexuality no longer something he tried to hide. 'Let him see me', Klaus thought. 

So, on this summer night, Klaus had promised to sneak Matt into his room. After knowing someone a while it was inevitable for them to know of the umbrella academy, knowing who he was. 

Klaus really liked Matt. He was kind and cute and didnt ask much about the umbrella academy. On another of many nights out, when Matt had asked what the house was like, Klaus thought: fuck it. Just another way to piss off Reginald. If he ever found out. 

Matt clambered through Klaus' open window after him, and the two couldn't help their intoxicated giggling. Klaus attempted to shush Matt, and himself, but ultimately failed. 

Klaus firmly pushed Matt back onto his chair, sitting himself in his lap as he kissed him. Then, a sharp knock at the door before it swung open. Startled, Matt pushed Klaus off, who stumbled, landing on the floor. 

"What the fuck!?" Matt gasped.

Klaus turned to see Diego in the door frame, expression uncomprehendable. 

"Who the fuck are you?" Was Diego's response. He turned to his brother, "Klaus?"

Klaus knew rationally Diego wasn't a complete asshole. After a while he'd stopped showing confusion and curiosity at what Klaus wore and his clear intrest in men. He knew Diego had and would never say anything against it. In a way, Klaus sort of felt they were alile in their defiance of Reginald, as if thry were participating in a contest to be least like him as possible. But it was never that simple. No matter what their was always a part of Klaus that feared rejection and hostility. He couldn't help the instinctive fear seeping into his bones. 

"Matt you should go," Klaus suggested without so much as glancing at other boy 

"Seriously?" Matt looked between Klaus and his brother, "fine, I'm outta here."

Diego watched him with cautious eyes as Matt crept his way back out the window.  
Diego looked back to Klaus, who didnt miss the hint of concern in his eye. 

"Ballsy move," Diego stated, leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

17

At 17 years, 2 months and 4 days old, Klaus lived through the one event almost everyone like him feared.

Klaus had built a thick skin, and that with the liquor and narcotics in his system, paired with the the body against his, he didn't much mind the winter chill. 

He'd only known Elliot the past few hours, but the blond boy roughly his age seemed content with their alleyway snogging session. That was until, of course, the older men made their rowdy way down the the alley, bottles in hand as they approached.

"Ay, yo, what we got here?" The gang leader shouted.

"Looks to me like a couple of fuckin' f*gs," another man proclaims, voice full of venom. 

Klaus pulled away from Elliot, and as he did, the other boy took his chance to run the the other way. Klaus couldn't blame him.

"You better run, you fuckin' pussy!" A third man mocked.

Klaus leaned back against the brick wall, holding firm,"I'm not afraid of some assholes like you," he defended.

"Is that so?" The leader retorted. The man grabbed at the front of Klaus' shirt and before he could react he was being thrown to the growd. 

His body was assulted with a flurry of punches and kicks, and Klaus could feel the bruises forming on his flesh. He could do nothing but curl in on himself, making him as small as possible in desperate attempts to minimise the damage. His ears only just managed to make out the curses and insults hurled his way in their vile and homophobic manner over the heavy thuds of fists and boots meeting ribs. 

After they had gotten bored and fleed ths scene, Klaus barely managed to pick himself up off the ground, using the shallow ridges in the brick wall to drag is body upwards. He felt warmth and a stinging on his face, and after resching us and rouching his throbbing and tender nose his hand came back red with blood. 

As Klaus stumbled his way home, clutching his abdomen in agony, he thought of Elliot. The boy was lucky to get away, and Klaus waz glad he did, but still a part of him didn't regret staying and standing his ground. He got enough shit from Reginald, and he'd be damned if he let men like that drive him away. The violence, he jnew, was common, but no one, and he means no one, gets to keep him from being him. No one else can scare him away from himself.

18

The night Klaus left, he knew where he was heading. After Ben's demise he was building up more and more to leaving, as some of his siblings had already done. 

Recently Tessa has left him in the dust, so she was no longer an option, but fuck her anyway. It was only a brief fling. Klaus knew where he was heading.

Bag slung over his shoulder, he advanced down the city streets with a clear path. He had bought only the essentials, whixh was mostly a few outfits, leaving no room for much academy related. He always knew he would leave like this, he juzt didn't know when.

So, when Klaus approached the building, he already heard the music booming inside, the warmth of laughter also leaving the bar in a harmony of content people, mostly adults, people like him.

The door opened with ease, and the energy of the place welcomed him into its loving arms. Inside, he was surrounded by people, smiling, dancing, talking, drinking. Couples kissed, and queens flounced around the room. Above the bar hung a tattered flag of red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. Klaus knew he was home.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! 
> 
> Comments and Kudos much appreciated. 
> 
> Im tired and gay as hell, this was fun to write. 
> 
> I'm planning a Klave fic next, keep your eyes peeled. Enjoy your summer!


End file.
